Cult of Cod
«Series: Genefish»

Genefish 3

But alas, paradise cannot last forever. After an incident with a forbidden tree and a snake, the kittens were not long for paradise. Maybe trying to put all the different animals in one fenced enclosure was a bad idea after all.

« Well that was a terrible idea. I should fire whoever thought of it. »

« Pretty sure that was you. If you're firing yourself, does that mean I can be the all-powerful one now? »

Cod glared at Seajus (who was still playing games on his phone), before stretching a fin out across the world.

« Let there be all manner of things that move and crawl upon the ea- »

« They already have those. »

« Uhh... birds of the air? »

« Yup, those too. »

« So what's left for me to create? This is supposed to be the creation myth. »

Seajus shrugged and looked up.

« I dunno. Why don't you go down there and find out? »

So it was that Cod descended to the world below and began to swim among the peoples of the Earth. Cod saw sadness, hate, misery, deprivation, and all manner of terrible terrible things. People lived lives that were without purpose, or meaning, or direction.
Oh geez I just realized that the opening paragraph sounds like the kittens got eaten by the snake! No no, the kittens are still okay.

« This will not do! I can't have the people of the world living in such horrible conditions. Their lives are empty and meaningless. Their joy is like ash in their mouths. There is nothing good in this world that I totally had no part in creating whatsoever. I'm clearly faultless in this and someone else is to blame. »

Cod thought long and hard about it, before finally coming to the obvious answer.

« Fuck it, let's reboot. »

So Cod sent a message down to one special friend, Moses, who lived in some town you've probably never heard of. To this special friend, Cod said,

« Soon I am going to flood the world. Not with fish this time, though - I already made a promise I wouldn't do that. A regular flood with water and stuff. You should build a really big boat and go live in it. Pretend it's a houseboat or something and this is going to be one of those cool post-apocalyptic survival novels. Bring with you two of every animal, one male and one female, so that we can repopulate the world afterwards.  »

And so Cod's friend built a big boat. It was ... okay, maybe just a reasonably sized boat. It measured ... so, no wait, it was a raft. Cod saw the small raft and descended back down to the world to find out what was going wrong.

« What seems to be the problem, Moses? I thought I said to make a big boat to hold lots of animals. This is barely large enough to hold you. »

“Well see that's the thing Cod. I'm kind of an introvert and the idea of sharing a boat with hundreds of other people and animals for a long time really doesn't sound like a great idea. Besides, you're all-powerful, so why don't you just recreate all the animals afterwards?”

Cod mulled this over and said

« You know, that's a great argument. Let's go with it. »

Well ... they were okay.
So Cod waved a mighty fin and the skies opened up. Down pour the rains for many, many days. The rain fell unceasing over the lands. The rivers rose, the dams broke, the shorelines vanished beneath the waves. Moses sat peacefully on his raft, enjoying the silence and solitude of a world without any distractions.

<>< Prophet