Cult of Cod

Don't Drink and VR

A great shattering of glass and the sound of an alcoholic beverage spilled everywhere echoed through Cod's great underwater domain.

« Oh me-dammit. That was my last beer, Seajus! Why couldn't you be more careful? »

« Sorry, what was that pops? I was checking out this new VR headset I got. It's super immersive and real - like I'm in a whole different world. This one's full of naked ladies. »

Cod sighed dramatically and went to grab a mop.

« I don't care how many naked ladies are in there. You broke my drink out here and now you owe me another one. Could you at least take that blasted thing off and help me clean this up? »

Seajus shrugged, noncommittally and waved one of the controllers non-chalantly.

« Geez pop, I'd really love to help with all that mess, but these graphics are so immersive I don't think I could even find my way out of here ... who even where anything is any- »

His smartassery was cut short by a firm fin upside the head, knocking the visor off his face and sending the whole thing hurtling behind the couch. Seajus pouted rather disdainfully.
Oh that's going to go over well for you Seajus...

« ... all you had to do was ask. »

« I did ask. You were giving me lip like you always do. I work my fins off trying to keep this world running and all you do is play around with their technology day in and day out. I'd like at least the courtesy that when you break something you fix it - or at least apologize for My Sake! »

Cod thrust the mop into Seajus' hands and glared. Seajus started moving to clean up the mess then stopped and threw the mop down.

« No, you know what?! You suck. This whole thing sucks. Why do I have to do any of this? I didn't ask for you to create me. You're the one who put your beer in a stupid place that I could knock it over. And why are you even drinking right now? Don't you know what that'll do to your liver?! »

« Don't you go trying to change the subject. I have the best liver in the world - people swear by its healing abilities. I put the beer a socially-appropriate distance away from you, but I didn't expect you to fling yourself halfway across the room and crash into a table. »

« Candi was falling off the edge of a cliff! I had to save her, otherwise I'd never be able to complete her sexy storyline and see what she's wearing underneath that string bikini. »

« It's not like there's much left to see if that's all she's wearing! »

« No but I was going to get a special 30 second scene where she- »

Their arguing was cut short by Prophet rushing into the room, throwing the front door open wide with a terrible crash.

« Were you born in a sea barn? Close the- »

“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?”

Prophet roared angrily at the two deific entities bickering over imaginary boobs.
Oh I get it, because the beer was a Corona

“People are dying out there! I don't care which one of you does it, but clean this damn mess up already!”

Cod and Seajus glanced back and forth, before Seajus begrudgingly started mopping up the sticky mess on the floor.
<>< Prophet